Talk like a Butt Pirate day...

OK, that's crude, I know. But Tuesday Sept 19th IS "Talk Like a Pirate Day", and in honor of that, I'd like to reproduce here possibly the worst joke that has ever made me laugh. It mostly made me laugh because I thought of it.

Why do they call gays butt pirates?

Answer: (highlight to read): Because they like ARRRRRRRRSE!


Woofy of the Week, Andy Warhol edition

In Pittsburgh for the weekend on bidness, and decided I should spend my free hour going to the Andy Warhol museum. As far as I could tell, among the many unshaven male faces reproduced, silk screened and blown up to the size of entire walls, Andy only encountered one man with facial hair that ended up in his collection. And it so happens that I can't identify him... um, he looks James Dean-ish? Anyone want to take a shot? (HAR... Warhol, shot, get it?)

(What is it about illustrated faces that make them look so similar... or Hollywood requirements that only allows people who look a certain way to become famous?)

BONUS Youtube video: "Small Town", Lou Reed and John Cale, from 'Songs for Drella'.


Enigma machine as flash animation


An Enigma machine, wrapped in a Flash animation, wrapped in a tasty tortilla. TOO COOL. See you in a few days when I get tired of this new toy. *dork dork dork*


Social status and language, part XXVI

I try not to think about language too much when I'm not at the office, but I do anyway.

I read someplace (Bill Maher on Salon if you must know) that the phrase "oh no he di'int" - borrowed from AAVE/Ebonics* five years ago or more, and pronounced with the famous glottal stop in place of the "swallowed" d - is now passé.

Who makes these rules? We do, apparently, constantly shifting our language to identify with a certain subgroup and to avoid others. Of course, this likely isn't conscious - we just hear something that sounds hella nifty to our ears, likely from someone we respect or admire, and we run with it. To my mind, that's how language change happens in real-time - we perceive it to come from someone who's alpha in comparison to us, and we incorporate it.

But then the phrase gets too widespread, and it infiltrates populations we don't want to sound like. If my Midwestern father were to tell a story with a punch line "oh no you di'int", I'd avoid the phrase like I would a popped collar on a Polo shirt. It's not that far yet, but it's far enough for some people - now Bill Maher, arguably with alpha-male cred, has decreed the current phrase done to death, much like "You go girl" , "Don't go there", and "Talk to the hand" before it. Do any of those ever creep up in yawl's vocab now in 2006?

Does anyone ever quip "Whatchou talkin bout Willis" anymore, outside of the 'ironic dated pop culture reference' usage, akin to the trucker-cap/moustache 'so-unhip-it's-cool-to-make-fun-of' scheme)?

The theory I'd develop, if I did sociolinguistics, is that if you're a white person with a joking streak, you can singularly measure your group identity by what phrase you're currently using that's been borrowed from AAVE. Shouldn't that be included in a sidebar or on a myspace page (if I ever updated my own)? "Currently using: [x]."

Except that I don't want to reveal which phrase all the COOL KIDS have moved onto. Except that if you're reading my blog, you're probably one of the cool kids. But don't you dare copy me, you desperate wanna-be. (BTW, please add me as a friend on myspace. Please?!)

Bye now. Tell your momma how she durrin'.

*AAVE/Ebonics = African American Vernacular English. A dialect of English used primarily by the Black community in America. In 1996, public schoolteachers in Oakland wanted to teach classes in Ebonics; naturally, there was an uproar from everyone except the linguists, who, in the quiet eye of the storm, said that AAVE is a fully formed and complete language, every bit as useful and competent as Standard English; that every dialect of English is fully capable of expressing logical structure; that bilingual education
has always been shown to be beneficial to students; and that it was likely teaching African American kids that their language wasn't slang might give a boost to their self-esteem, which would help them in all areas. But no one listens to scientists, so it never got off the ground.


The neighbors had built a wall, cut down a branch from Joe Housemate's mesquite tree that extended into their yard, and then thrown the branch into our yard, where it sat for months until I went and bravely retrieved it today.

Photos from my front yard expedition. In tribute to my outdoorsmen Dad and brother, Behold the mighty hunter with his quarry!

Also: persimmons.