Pro shoelacing

Check out this shoelacing site. I've been trying a new method for a couple months now, but this site is the motherlode of ways to make sure your New Balances do not fall off.*

*Washington, DC apparently just discovered the NB logo about two years ago.

I just learned how to tie an "Ian* Knot", which to my surprise did not involve choosing between sitting all day slurping down your trustfund cash in the coffeeshop that has the good coffee and the cute barista, and the one that has the fat wireless pipe and the other cute barista.

*Ian: homosexual hipster male who wears black-plastic-framed glasses, drives a Volkswagen (optional), and owns a Mac (required.) Owns, but not operates: Ians are unable to install Linux, install hardware, or change their own oil. Ians have a slightly larger-than-average head size : body size ratio. Cf: Lollipops, Bobblegays.


Woofy of the week, 4/20 geek edition

Insofar as he's geek-related, our focus this week is presenting "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" just in time for 4/20, yawl. He's hottie director Judd Apatow. Who knew?

Tyler, yeah I know you knew.


Fibbing by the numbers

A "Fib" is a newly invented poetry form whose syllable numbers echo the famous Fibonacci Sequence, in which each number is added to the one right behind it in the sequence to get the next one, starting with zero:

0, 1, +0= 1, +1= 2, +1= 3, +2= 5, +3= 8 [13, 21, 34, 55...]

Long after it was defined by people (and Fibonacci wasn't really the first), it was discovered in nature, in multitudes of places - nautilus shell spirals, flower petals, pine cones...

In poetry, it works well too. It's bare and haiku like at first, but then rapidly explodes into something more prose-like. And as someone put it - the official first numeral of the Fibonacci sequence is always zero, so the first syllable of a Fib is always silence. Very cool.


For Whom the Chicken Heart Beats (Lisa-Bonet-as-Voodoo-Scientist Remix)

Inkjet printers, re-nozzle-fied to allow them to exude tiny clumps of cells (you sushi enthusiasts have already been all over this story, except doesn't the Reverend Moon own all the sushi now?) are now (again / still) the forefront of tissue-engineering technology. This time, though, the cells appear to act just as they would if they were in a complete organ, slime-mold style.

"After 19 hours or so, the whole structure starts to beat in a synchronous manner," said Bonet the scientist, failing to add, "which ruins our plans for an inkjet dance-floor cross-marketing scheme. The candy ravers are a little too Plurist for this kind of music source."



Disclosure and Eye Wide Opening

The first-ever telescope dedicated solely to searching for E.T.'s light signals is opening this month, without associated candy marketing-tie-in fanfare.

There are those who already believe we've been visited, and they're damn serious. They sound serious, too - they used to have security clearances, they've logged some time at Area 51, and they never bought into the X-Fries much. They're called The Disclosure Project, and I too want to believe.

Cockroach Devil Communists

When you're consulting your fellow zombie overlord evil loathsome friends, you're consulting COMMUNISM. Because Blattella Germanica, according to a new paper outlined in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (via the Discovery Channel News via /.), consult each other before making group decisions. Groupthink by our insect overlords, y'all. Fucking socialists. They can't keep order and stability in a country with (formerly) 35-hour work weeks and endless wine, and they can't stay away from my garbage.