What Paris Means

Paris is known for her Signature Phrase (soon to be trademarked) as much as her Signature Scent and Line of Signature Products, but one's words are so much more lasting than one's shilling - so let's hazard some better guesses at what Paris means when Paris says, "That's Hott."

Is Paris drawing on her role as cultural arbiter, referring to the potential market value of a deliverable? "Supply and demand are as inextricable from our selves as they are from our shelves," Paris seems to be telling us, channeling Wintour as much as Foucault. "Our cultural representations are, sans doubt, extensions of our inner needs and our inner providence." Paris reifies our signification of cultural value in one fell swoop and two syllables. Who needs the bloviations of Paglia when you've got the brilliance of Paris?

Or is Paris instead delving into Paris' extensive knowledge of chemistry, drawing attention to the energy of a known quantity of a demonstrable substance? One sees Paris donning a white lab coat, black rimmed glasses, and a clipboard, and lecturing thus: "Energy may be transferred into a body either by compression or by heating, and extracted from a body either by expansion or by cooling." Paris relates pressure, volume, temperature and entropy with the best of them while demonstrating just how Hott blackbody radiation can be!

But perhaps Paris hearkens back to her Simple Life, and merely repeats the phrase whenever Paris' lazy eye lands on something novel or noteworthy. Much like a marionette with a developmentally disabled person at the strings, Paris's head lolls to one side (note extensive photo evidence of this) and Paris murmurs at anything within gaze: That's Hott. That's Hott. that's hott. We, Paris' minions, may only surmise that the deictic pronoun's referent is Hott, and Hott can mean anything we guess Paris means. That's the beauty of brand extension, and the genius of being not just retarded, but totally rich and popular. HOT.


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