20040528

Dirt that glows in the dark. Dinosaurs that melt in your mouth.

Two stories from the land before time today.


Bacteria living in radioactive soil underneath every Northwesterner's nuke-flavored nemesis, Hanford!

and: Mmm, fried dinosaur. I hear meteorite compounds give the meat a really rich smoky flavor.

20040524

the sweet waters of my country homeland

Little Labette Creek runs past my hometown, and then flows into the Neosho River (warning: poo pathogens present) then into the Arkansas River, which goes down the Mighty Muddy into the Gulf, and then on for ever. But even as high up into the headwaters as a creek so small it's pronounced 'crick', we've got fecal coliform, low dissolved oxygen, and un-ionized ammonia. Lovely! Humans are not long for this world.

20040521

Monsanto, come back to me

Small-fry farmer taken down by mighty corporate powers that control the future of nature. In Canada, though, so what does that have to do with me, again?

Oh yeah, I could be sued for something that wasn't remotely my fault.

On a partially-unrelated note, the lyrics to "Monsanto"

and its parent site

Gross Animal SMACKDOWN

CICADAS vs SNAKEHEAD FISH:

Cicadas:
-Ugly.
-Loud.
-Do not sting, do not bite.
-Do not use transmission modes that they do not belong in (they've got wings, so they fly. I can deal.)
-They're here one summer, one only, then they die off - and by the next time they appear, your as-yet-unborn kids are getting their driver's licenses and sneaking booze from your liquor cabinet. That's plenty of time to clean off your windshields, install some window screens, buy an Aphex Twin CD to drown out the buzzing with yet more buzzing, or just move.

Snakehead fish:
-Ugly.
-Silent.
-Apparently, they fucking bite.
-They scoot across land - using what - their fins, Fred Flintstone? Extra specialized teeth that clamp down on the ground and drag them along? *shudder*
-They're going to be around for a while, probably. They're food-chain invaders, so by the time the next one is apprehended, they're going to have eaten their way through the native fauna (much like a Starbucks).

Two questions: Was I signing on for this kind of creepy-ass biome when I moved here? And: How do they taste?